Live Life!

The Guardian published a fascinating article in February about the top five regrets of the dying, written from the findings from a palliative nurse. I found it an interesting read, thought-provoking and well worth sharing.

“ Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed, deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. How many times have you thought: “I wish someone had told me that before?" So often people do advise or warn us but we carry on regardless. It is important that we learn from our own mistakes but we can also learn from the wisdom of others – if so many people realise retrospectively that they should have changed their perspective on what is important in life, maybe we should listen more. "

Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to change your perspective on life and see where you need to focus your energy. It can help you to realise your goals, release any anxiety, fears or old expectations, allowing you to be the person you want to be. This gives you time to focus on the wonderful life you have created, with all its wonderful twists and turns.

© EKTherapies

Public Speaking

For many of us the idea of public speaking brings us out in a cold sweat as butterflies start to race around our stomachs. But how come something that we do every day so easily like speaking all of a sudden becomes terrifying? Many of us would like to avoid public speaking entirely but this is not always possible. Making presentations, giving talks, a bestman's speech at a wedding, business meetings, the list of when we may have to confront our fears of public speaking is endless.

There are many reasons why public speaking starts to turn us to jelly. Here are just a few common reasons:

• Self-consciousness – this could be because of accent, grammar, voice, image, the way we stand, how we perceive ourselves
• Lack of confidence – often stems from a feeling that others are better speakers than ourselves or that they know more about the topic in question
• Unfamiliar situation – unless public speaking is something you do regularly the formality of speaking to an audience can cause apprehension
• Fear of looking foolish – we worry that we might forget what we want to say or stumble over words, even say the wrong thing
• When you start to panic over public speaking your body goes into fight or flight mode, releasing adrenaline to help you cope with the situation

Public speaking is a perceived threat and although that perception feels all too real to those who suffer from it, the act of public speaking can do us no harm. Public speaking doesn’t have to be stressful, it can even be enjoyable. If you correctly understand the hidden causes of public speaking stress and if you learn a few tricks to calm your body and mind, it will soon become an invigorating and satisfying experience. Hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP can help you to conquer any public speaking anxieties you have by building up your confidence, helping you to remain relaxed and calm. You can learn your body’s unique reactions to stress and anxiety and develop a healthy and positive way of thinking and feeling. You wouldn’t walk into a meeting having not prepared what you want to say, in the same way you need to prepare both body and mind for how you are going to say it, so you walk into the room ready to speak clearly and confidently.

Imagine, instead of public speaking filling you with dread, you can learn to enjoy it, even to look forward to writing and giving a presentation. Take the first step today to conquering your public speaking fears, relaxing in the weeks leading up to it and even enjoying giving the speech as your new found confidence fills the room.